guilt

I've been having a lot of guilt as of lately. Guilt about how the birth of June went. As I learn more, I am so guilty about having been induced. I was depressed and all I wanted was for my husband to have been home to meet her. Knowing what I know now, I would have waited. It's not like June isn't fine... but my labor was nowhere near what I wanted it to be like. June would have probably been closer to 8lbs or more if I had waited. Her weight of 7lbs and 1oz was too low for my comfort, and she was born the day before she was due. I know quite a few people that are pregnant and are already scheduling inductions about 2 weeks before their due date. Considering normal gestation is about 41-42 weeks, this is almost a month early. What the hell? Where is the personal accountability of these doctors? My friend Karen scheduled a c-section a week and a half before she was due because her last child ended up being a c-section because of "failure to progress". She had only been in labor 10 hours!!! I tried to give her objective information, and she didn't listen. Her son was born at 5lbs and 6oz. That is way too small. Why someone would actually want a c-section is beyond my comprehension. I just don't get it. She also ended up with MRSA and almost died to her doctor not understanding the seriousness of her complaints. If she wouldn't have gone to the emergency room, who knows what would have happened.

All these people having inductions really upset me. I fully believe in informed consent, and I don't believe that a lot of doctors are giving the patients that information. It's unethical.

I've actually been really considering becoming a midwife. But then again, it seems people that consider a midwife are more aware of their options. Maybe I should be an obstetrician. At least I know that I would be an ethical obstetrician. I would definitely not intervene with a baby's growth and development unless medically necessary. No unnecessary c-sections or inductions for me. Babies normally come when they're ready damn it. Why doesn't anyone understand that?

Okay, off my soapbox now. *sigh*