Thursday, October 16, 2008


love [luhv] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, loved, lov·ing. –noun
1.a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

Love... I looked up the definition, and I'm not so sure have someone that feels this way about me anymore. Yet, I don't know when it all changed. I know it's been this way for a while. But, I can't pinpoint the exact time that it actually stopped being "love". Sure John cares, he just seems so cold towards me lately. I feel like the only time he's affectionate towards me is when he's asleep and I crawl into bed and he tries to sleep molest me. Sure I don't mind.... I just want more. I want things to be the way they used to be. I want the affection back. I want hand holding and making out. Not just air kisses and quick pecks. I know we're both busy... but we're not that fucking busy. It just seems like the only reason he's with me is because he's comfortable with me. I don't want things to be that way. I tried to bring up the fact that he never holds my hand or really kisses me anymore, and he joked around and said that he never did that stuff. It hurt. I don't know what to do. I don't want things to be this way forever. But, I just don't want to walk away knowing that we both still care about each other. Although, just not in the way that I want him to care about me. I'm so hurt. I'm so confused. I'm just so lost. I really don't know what to do.